New Life

Okay, so this entry is going to be all about the labour and birth of my baby girl. You have been warned. This will be all about the ins and outs and erm, outs and outs of my labour. So if you are squeamish do not read on. If you are pregnant, then choosing to read on is up to you. This is a candid account of what happened to me from my point of view.

I am well aware that writing this recount when Mia is 8 months old means that it will be vastly different to the one I would have written when she was zero days old - i.e. when I swore off having any more children! Of course now I cannot really remember the sensations and what I felt as pain. And if you asked me now how many more children I want, I shall reply 'all of them!' Yeah! :) A couple of good friends of mine have, however, already warned me that when the next labour starts, it doesn't seem like having more kids was a good idea after all. Well, at least that feeling only lasts until the little loved one arrives.

To counter the effects of time, my mother is going to pass me what she wrote when I recounted the labour to her a day or two after the event. Ground zero. So we shall see how that differs in due course as I am sure my rose tinted spectacles are practically opaque with wonder at the whole miracle that is birth.

Okay, so here goes...

Having had a normal Wednesday relaxing and being heavily pregnant, I was the recipient of one of the first signs of imminent labour - the spurt of activity. The shortest version of this element is that I spent the whole of Wednesday night wide awake just doing 'stuff' and watching t.v. I just couldn't sleep. Part of me was thinking that it could be the pre-labour (24 hours before) activity surge, but the other part of me didn't actually believe I'd ever go into labour. Even though, at this point I was 9 days past my due date. (NOT 'overdue' as choosing one day to predict labour is ridiculous. Some countries give you a 4 week period in which you will probably go into labour; much more sensible).

Actually I was feeling a tad stressed about being overdue (as it were). Mainly because I had to start deciding when to be induced. I flat out refused to be induced in fact. If I'd have said yes to this, my appointment would have been for the Friday the 11th of May. I had already been offered sweeps (erm no, ta). And was booked in to start having scans every other day from the coming Monday to ensure optimum health of Shrublet.

It's worth pointing out that we referred to my bump and therefore the baby as 'Shrublet'. As we had decided not to find out the sex until after the baby was born. So writing this already has a massively different slant, now that I know it was Mia in there all along.

So Thursday rolled around and I was pretty tired throughout the day, but no more so that normal when waddling around with an uberbelly. We decided to try out a few of the old wives tales to kick start labour.

I ate pinapple.
I walked.
I ate spicy food.
I had a homeopathic remedy.
I tried reflexology (courtesy of Johny)
And last but not least, nipple stimulation (again courtesy of Johny)

Now I had read that the last option was not to be done outside a hospital as it can bring on very strong contractions due to the oxytocin released. I assumed this was rubbish and that I'd have heard about it before if that were truly the case. But then I had my first contraction within minutes of the stimulation. Okay, so I could have been going to go into labour anyway, but I still am adamant that it was due to this. Especially as I was in a surprising amount of pain from about my third contraction.

In everything I'd read and from courses etc. we'd been told that the first phase of labour is not that bad pain-wise and can last a very long time. So make plans to be busy during this time, e.g. make a cake, go out for dinner, go to the cinema. Well thank heavens my plan was to have a bath, wash my hair and put on some fake tan ready for the birth pool (which I expected to be hours and hours, even days later) because it meant we weren't out as the contractions came on thick and fast. My first one was at 10:30pm on Thursday the 10th of May.

Now in our preparations for birth, we had decided to use Natal Hypnotherapy as our main form of pain relief. We went to a course which was run by Vikki Middleton - she is absolutely amazing and I can't recommend her highly enough; she's even referred to as a White Witch in her area as she's so powerful at helping women to achieve a relaxed and enjoyable labour.

I had complete faith in this method, and I still do. From about week 30 I listened to the CD religiously, every day. And I purchased the Birth Companion CD along with the music. Part of this involved Johny talking me through into a state of deep relaxation, then he would give me a chinese burn with all his strength, whilst keeping me visualising my special place of calm. I was in a state where I knew there was pain in my wrist, but it was okay, it wasn't a problem.

Hemmick Beach. January. Freezing. Hats a must. 

Johny at the cottage we stayed in. Idyllic. 

When visualising, during hypnotherapy, I would imagine that I was at Hemmick beach; where Johny and I went for Valentine's one year. We loved it there. I could see myself on the beach, with the sun shining. There were also animals there, this seemed to be key for me. They brought my thoughts to nature, and they helped me be instinctual in my feelings, they knew that labouring was a natural process, and that my brain needed to be in nature, not in the now, trusting my body and its capabilities. When Johny twisted the skin on my wrist, I would be wading through the warm ocean, whilst fishes swam in circles around my wrist, dissipating the pain and making it, dare I say, enjoyable. All the creatures that were there were exuding love and confidence. And up on the hill, behind the beach, looking out of the window of the cottage we stayed in, was Johny. Keeping me safe, and making sure everything went well.

Okay, so I don't have any images from or of the Blue Lagoon.
The water was no place for a camera! So this shot at
the geyser in Iceland shall have to suffice. 

I had other places I visited too. One of them being the Blue Lagoon, from our honeymoon in Iceland. Though I would imagine it completely empty, with no-one but me, drinking a blueberry smoothie. I also went to a jungle, where a treefrog would kiss my belly - this always corresponded with Johny actually kissing my belly during the hypnosis. He was my tree frog. And when Mia appeared, she would lay on Johny, like a tree frog. And this year for Christmas, Johny bought me a charm bracelet; one of the charms was, of course, a tree frog, meditating. Anyway, I digress! Although it's important to know that an integral part of the hypnotherapy was Johny guiding me through the contractions using hypnosis and visualisation. The mantra of '3, 2, 1, relax' being key.

So... we had also hired a TENs machine, and had hired/borrowed a blow up birth pool from the Sure Start service in the area. We had both decided upon a home birth. That was plan A. But I was quite zen about the fact that if we needed to go into hospital for any reason then that's how it was supposed to be.

After my first contraction, I went and got in a nice bubble bath, while Johny started the arduous task of filling up the birth pool in the lounge. It was already inflated so just needed good ol' h2o. I finished of my primping and preening to build my confidence up, as I'd asked Johny to take pictures; although with the events unfolding as they did, he only took one! I remember being up in the bedroom having a strong contraction with the iPod playing a Metallica song and I just screamed through it, in a funny 'let it all out' type way, not in a scary way!

You can see her the little bruise above her
right eye; caused by her entry into the world!
Sorry Miso xx

I came down to the lounge and put in my headphones, hooked up the TENs and got ready to settle into labour. I was shocked with how quickly the contractions had become extremely painful. Though with the headphones (playing the Labour Companion hypnosis CD) I was coping okay, and was peaceful and quiet. I was wearing a big blue plastic ring, with the idea being that when I put it on that was a visual cue that I was having a contraction. Johny would then time the intervals between these so I didn't have to pay attention to any of that. The shame about the ring, was that Johny was generally out of the room, so he couldn't see the cue. So I would yell as loud as I could that I was contracting, so wherever he was in the house he could hear me.

Now it seems that my requirement to have a bath scuppered our plans somewhat, as we quickly ran out of hot water for the pool (duh!). Which meant that Johny was having to go up and down the stairs with pans and kettles of hot water to try and bring the pool up to temperature. It also meant that I laboured, essentially, alone. I had lost all sense of time, a wonderful side effect of the hypnotherapy and before I knew it Johny was telling me the midwife, Sandy, was on her way. I was shocked and asked him how often I was contracting, as I was still sure I was a long way away from the midwife stage. He replied that it was at least every 5 mins. Ergo, call the midwife! At this point it was 2am. Oh and the TENs machine was great for me; it really dissipated the pain across my body.

Having reread what I've written, I've realised that I have missed out a pretty major event... So I'm labouring away, like you do when your baby wants out, when I need a quick wee. So I waddle/crawl upstairs only to find half of our landing practically submerged in water! I screamed for Johny repeatedly, yelling that our bathroom was flooding. Turns out the pump wasn't fill up the pool as fast as the bath was filling up, therefore it overflowed on a massive scale. I tip toed through the water, and upon reaching the bathroom dropped my iPod, which shuffled itself to House of Pain playing Jump Around. Ha. Nice. Thanks universe, if my sides hadn't already have been splitting I'm sure they would have done. Or maybe my head would have fallen off. (I hope, dear reader, you are a Blackadder fan).

My Mum's cat, 'The Incredible Hulk' checking out the birth pool.

I was itching to get into the pool, just to take the weight off my body. Getting comfortable was a nightmare and I just found myself kind of lying on my side on the sofa. At one point, I've got no idea what time, Johny came to me and we stood up and swayed together, with his arms around me. Then my waters broke, with an audible 'pop'! I groaned as the pain intensified and let Sandy know what had happened. She checked to make sure the waters were clear of meconium and therefore good to go for a home birth. Sandy was not happy with the temperature of the pool as it was still too cold really. But when she left the room at one point I hopped in (well, as much of a hop as I could manage!) as I was struggling managing with the pain of the contractions.

Mia Moo with my Dad - now of course he has
been promoted to Grandpa!

It was around this point that I made the HUGE mistake of putting my CD on the speakers and not through my headphones; my concentration went. I had, to be fair, been struggling to concentrate on my visualisations, as I was trying toooo hard to have them. And I didn't have my husband to help me focus. Although he didn't really know this, and both of us just wanted to get the pool going to I could get in. So yes, concentration gone, husband finally by my side... he tries to coax me into a visualisation but I was too far out of the zone, snapping that I couldn't do it now. I fully believe that if we'd laboured together from the beginning, I wouldn't have caved, but having done about 6 hours in quiet on my own now, I just couldn't do it any more.

So I was in the pool, begging for pain relief. Sandy brought up the gas and air, and Johny gave me a paracetamol (!). The gas and air was good; it didn't relieve the pain, but it did make me take really big slow breaths, and I was able to concentrate on my breathing. I hadn't expected my voice to go deeper, which I found crazy as I called out for Johny in a voice that wasn't my own, weird! I also clearly remember saying "I am off my tits, but it doesn't do anything for the pain!"

Having tried to labour in the too cold pool for a while, I demanded pain relief. I demanded the hospital. I asked, begged and pleaded to be killed. Sandy was happy for me to go in (due to cold pool), yet she made really and truly sure it was what I wanted. She called ahead so that I pool could be ready and waiting for me, at the right temperature; she really wanted me to have as close a birth as possible to the one I had wanted. Sandy was truly amazing.

A quick aside: when I was asking for pain relief, I reminded Johny of the homeopathic remedies we had specifically for the labour. A few incidences occurred at once; I dropped my iPod (which I had got back to I could put the headphones back in) and it shuffled which made me panic. He tried to grab it whilst also grappling for the remedy and ended up giving me Chamomilla instead of Aconite (I think these are the right names). And therefore I had the remedy which would bring on a more powerful and more painful labour, it was to get labour moving, instead of one to calm it down and relieve the pain somewhat. Within minutes of taking this remedy, I was demanding the hospital!

So I got out of the pool and into the waiting car - contractions at this point being unbearable. I was able to control myself and was quiet and calm on the way to the hospital and I hung my head out of the car window into the fresh 5am air, which felt amazing. And as it happens, one of the reasons you give Aconite is when fresh air helps with the pain/control. I really shoulda had that one!

M Bubbs with my Sister, Sandy.
Love at first sight. 

We pulled up at the entrance of the hospital, I was only wearing pyjama bottoms and Johny's dressing gown. I contracted just outside the entrance and it was truly excruciating. It was made oodles worse by the fact that I was standing up. For me, this meant that the pain spread down my thighs and was agony. We made it to the labour ward where some narky midwives demanded to know if they were expecting us and were not impressed when they weren't. We explained our midwife had called ahead, but she had called the ward above where the pools are, not the labour ward. I was offered to go up there, but refused as I literally couldn't move another step. So I went into the nearest available room and clambered up on to the bed.

Sandy examined me to see how far along I was. I was over 9cm dilated. Seriously, don't walk when you're that dilated, it is not fun!

Time to start the main event was upon me, and inside me.

In case I didn't make it clear, when I demanded to go to hospital, I was after an epidural as I couldn't take it any more. But, being 9cm - NO CHANCE! The anaesthetist came anyway, and was being all polite and saying hi and asking what my name was. I ignored her. I was pushing a baby out. I appreciate your manners and all but seriously, shut the f up woman! Johny stepped in and asked the gaggle of women (as there were other people there too) to be quiet so I could at least try and focus. Thanks baby!

Mia's Granny & Grampa.
You can see in their eyes they're already planning
to buy her a Welsh rugby shirt!
Love them xxx

On the bed. Pushing. I always felt pushing was a strange word for the sensation. I was asked repeatedly throughout my labour if I 'felt like pushing' and I was like, 'erm, I don't know, possibly'. And it wasn't until the last hour or so that it seemed like proper, kick ass pushing.

Johny, being the wonderful man that he is, wanted to help me any way he can. Firstly he was holding the gas and air to my mouth so I could rest on my hands as I was on all fours. Secondly, and I wasn't aware of this at the time, he'd push along with me. Now, when you're a labouring woman, you suddenly find superhuman strength from who knows where (well I did anyways) and Johny nearly passed out holding his breath as long as I did, bearing down. Hehe, silly.

I asked for pain relief (I don't know when) with Sandy's response being that the only way to relieve the pain now would be to get the baby out. So I replied with a hearty and throaty 'let's do it!' which made Sandy and Johny laugh. I'm glad I was of amusement :)

Sandy again was amazing. I was trying to 'breathe the baby out' as we'd practised on the hypnotherapy course. With the idea being that if you hold your breath and push, you expend a lot more energy than if you slowly breathe out and push at the same time. But at one point Sandy asked if I would mind having a go at pushing without the outward breath, whenever I was ready, as she felt this part could be speeded up. She was right.

When the labour moved from the first to the second stage, the pain was still there, but it was a different pain. A more constructive pain. A pain that correlated to the feeling of pushing the baby out. So it was more manageable in some respects. Whenever I felt a contraction coming on, I would bear down, bite on the gas and air with all my might, scream 'get out' into it (which just sounded like audible 'grunting' through the mouthpiece) and push. The feeling of actually splitting in half (the ring of fire I've also heard it called) was so intense for a good few contractions, then Mia's head came out which provided immediate relief.

Whilst she was restituting, Sandy called for backup. I immediately screamed out to ask what was going on as I of course, had a blip of panic hearing that help was needed. She replied that it was nothing to worry about, just that the baby was big, much bigger than they'd anticipated. With the help of the midwives I moved slightly from all fours to having one foot on the bed and I remember just saying to John 'why are they making me do this?' as moving in any direction was not what I wanted to do. Earlier I had also been asked to not rest on my hands, and put my hands over the head of the bed so gravity could help with the birth. Anyway, I don't know how many more contractions there were, but the feeling of Mia's body swooshing out of mine was divine. Phew!

And at 6:56am on the morning of the 10th of May 2012, Mia was born.

Now one of the hospital midwives came to help Mia suckle. She asked if she could touch my breast which I said she could. She pressed the top of my boob so my nipple was facing up, and placed Mia quite directly onto it, Mia's mouth gaping wide ready for food :) But she started to change colour slightly (I didn't notice as I was too out of it) and they took Mia away pretty quickly. She was having problems breathing. They had her outside on oxygen. It was literally outside the door of my room so Johny could keep checking on what was going on. She was on oxygen for about 45 minutes (I remember this as being like 2 minutes, not sure why).

Daddy skin-to-skin with baby. Beautiful. 

I was also kept occupied by the phlebotomist who was taking my blood, chord blood and a 15cm length of the cord (which Johny had cut originally of course). This was because we've had some of Mia's stem cells frozen to protect against future illness/disease etc. It's still a relatively new science, but has the potential to regrow organs. Stem cells can also help fight against childhood Lukaemia. The cells are also useful to any other children we may have. We've had her cells frozen for 20 years, privately. The cells are split between two locations, so if something happens, like a fire at one of them, Mia still has her lifeline.

I was also checked for any tears which luckily didn't happen to me, phew! The midwife put it down to having a well controlled labour, whatever that means. I did, however, have a few nasty grazes, as Mia had decided that just poking her head out would be silly. She decided that her head and one of her hands simply must be born at the same time. Ergo I got some whacking scratches from my little lady. Ouch!! Thanks Mia Moo. It was this that meant she had a bruise over her right eye we think, due to the pressure on it from both sides.

Mia was then returned to me to feed. She was fine, it was just she was struggling a bit with her breathing. We were told it was nothing some crying and sneezing wouldn't fix. We called her Snufkin. Then Johny was shown how to swaddle her whilst I had a bath. I am clueless about the timings of these things, it's just a blur.

Before I got in the bath, however, and whilst I was holding my baby girl, I called my Mum. This was one of my most vivid memories of the day. We hadn't told anyone that I'd gone into labour. I had sent a text to one of my best friends at 2am, and she didn't see that until the morning anyway. My Mother answered her phone for me to ask the question 'would you like to come and meet your Granddaugher?'. She practically fainted with excitement and jubilation; especially as she, too was finding out the gender. It was a magical, magical moment.

My Mum with baby Mia. A few hours old. 

So... there you have it. If I remember any bits and bobs I shall add them of course as I'd like this account to be as accurate and as detailed as possible so I can look back and reminisce. Mummy and baby were and still are doing well. What an awe inspiring miracle new life is.